I have wanted to get back to this blog ever since I left it 3 years ago (almost exactly 3 years ago). I have written several posts that will never be published including 3 versions of the story of why I lost my blogging steam (it had a lot to do with planning an intercontinental move). And why I left my “career”… I got really distracted.
But there’s nothing like having a baby to bring you back to what you’re really meant to be doing.
Photo Credit: Growing Wings Photography
I’m a mother. I do motherwork. And I do other work.
Just not all at the same time.
This baby has helped me clear so much. We have been wishing and waiting for her for such a long time, and she has truly been an organizing force for all of us. It is as if I was chasing my tail (or dragging it) for a long, long time. And now I’m finally back home to myself. Grounded. Purposeful. Joyfully alive and so, so grateful. No more seeking or striving. I am in the flow of life.
In addition to the daily tasks of motherwork: breastfeeding, babywearing, elimination communication, changing diapers (when we’re not doing EC), laundry, cooking and chauffeuring the 7 year old around town, I’ve continued to experience this “slow drip” of nesting and decluttering that has continued beyond pregnancy and beyond just my physical space.
I finally became a Certified Aware Parenting Instructor and have been deeply processing what that means and how I’ll use it. I’ve been Aware Parenting my sweet little baby. Keeping her close and listening to what she needs to tell me. Really her sister listens to her as much as I do. She is so present and able to just be with her baby sister’s feelings. And so able to express her own feelings of love for the baby as well as intense feelings about sharing me with the baby.
Inspired by Ayla’s need for bodywork to correct her tight latch and to support her after her tongue and lip tie revision, I might even complete the work that I need to do to graduate from my Biodynamic Craniosacral Training. But that will take some more time… In the meantime, I am working on her and learning so much from her. And also getting support from a friend.
I really want to do justice to the story of Ayla’s birth – all 2.5 hours of it. But I can’t seem to get that post written, so I started with this one.
I also want to make blogging easier on myself. So, I’ll be doing shorter posts with fewer links (can’t you tell?). I hope to still share something of myself along with some useful information, but the new chapter of this blog may not be as brutally personal as the archival motherwork posts like this one about my sister. This is the last post from the blog when I abandoned it 3 years ago.
In a way it really sums up what drives me as a mother, as a somatic therapist and as a parenting educator. We all need love and connection. I’d love to keep it that simple.
For now keeping it simple means that I’d like to keep my priorities on movement, connection and writing about movement and connection.
After I fold this load of nappies…